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Mindfuck Theory No. 1

Okay, on the surface we all think that these different conspiracy theories running wild around the Internet are just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo or pure baloney as the Americans may put it. On the other hand, they always leave me to kind of wander… Maybe everything IS connected after all? Even if there’s no conclusions or general consensus on these, I think there should always be some space left for pure imagination (and entertainment).

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Exhibit number 1: scraper or washer of some sort.

So, today, after a little bit over a month of living in an area known for its notorious party-wild-students, I’ve noticed that that weird stuff seems to come up in the most peculiar places. They seem to be permanently left behind outdoors as if no one would know where they came in the first place. For example, exhibit number one has been lying in the back yard since I moved here; it has been repeatedly covered with snow which has then thawed thus enabled it to be picked up by… anyone. But it hasn’t.

And it’s still in a surprisingly good condition!

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Exhibit number 2: a slipper.

My original thought was that maybe we all just happen to live in some kind of alternative universe and those pieces of items that are conventionally worn in pairs are sucked back into alternative planet Earth by a massive vortex. This could be backed up by the theory that Finland wouldn’t even exist, according to some die-hard conspiracy theorists.

I can guarantee that if that’s truly the case, the other pair missing could potentially be tracked down and found… from Sweden.

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Exhibit number 3: another piece of footwear, most likely a sneaker.

Also, all sorts of flying sports objects aka balls and frisbees have been found nearby with no apparent reason for ending up there.

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Exhibit number 4: a good old yellow frisbee.

So, how can you explain them being observed and found from the middle of the forest? I don’t know about the situation in your county, but the forests we have in Finland are pretty thick – certainly not comparable to a sports field that usually tends to have loads of free air space for objects to be thrown around safely. But do you see sports gear abandoned in those fields? No – because people tend to invest into good shit and take care of it as well.

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Exhibit number 5: a golf ball.

And then moving on to consider and re-evaluate the more mundane explanations for this phenomena. After all, I have a Serious Academic back ground. (Like it would make any difference in the working market.)

I can understand the urge to leave your trash behind (even when there would be trash or recycle bins, like, everywhere) after a quick snack or a picnic afternoon in the park. Sadly, it is quite common to see empty wrappers, cigarette boxes and bottles abandoned in nature. But most of these exhibits presented here are stuff that people (should) need and actively use. Stuff that in another situation could be found from the thrift store, for example.

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Exhibit number 6: someone’s sweat pants.

And if you just suddenly decided to reconnect with Mother Earth by going bare feet, that wouldn’t still explain why there is always only one pair of shoe, glove, mitten or piece of clothing left behind. I think it would be more convenient to go naked all the way than leave a shirt on. I happen to know this cause I’m from a hard core sauna culture, after all.

Or maybe alcohol and/or other drugs have had something to do with this so that no one can literally remember losing their shit. And walking home with just one shoe on or without their pants. These things happen, right?

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Exhibit number 7: Another pair of pants. Just hanging in there!

Or then we’re talking about a case of casual pant robbery where the Thug demands the victim to take pants off in order to go through the pockets – and then… BANG… the thief runs away with the pants only to abandon the evidence into a place no one, not even the cops, can find it again. I mean, that’s only smart? They might contain those finger prints that might risk it all.

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And finally number 8: a sad bye-bye mitten abandoned on top of a rock.

I have rest my case, comrades! Now, I would like to hear what do you think about this: legit parallel universe situation, casual cases of robbery or just normal behaviour by possibly heavily intoxicated human beings? Let me know in the comments section down below. Until next time…

Yours,

Miah

P.S. You may also suggest that I simply framed this whole thing but I guarantee in the name of my grandmother’s hand-picked blueberries that I’m not that kind of a master mind. I mean all of the exhibit cases are dirty after a harsh winter under the snow. Which means I should have implanted them like last fall or spend a good afternoon rolling random stuff around in the dirt. (I know by a fact that my dog would probably like if I become acquainted with that sort of activity. But I wouldn’t.)

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